Milo woke up to the sounds of loud banging on the door. He was shivering from the cold and exhaustion, lying on the floor, the staff still in his hands. He struggled to his feet.
Rays of morning sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating the dust hanging in the air. Outside the windows, Milo could see the tropical jungle with trees of strange and saturated colors, and an ocean in the distance. The abandoned room he was in looked bleak and grim by comparison. He really needed to clean things up if he was gonna live here.
If he was gonna live.
He un-barricaded the door, no sense in hiding out here forever. He wanted to see what's going on outside, and looked for a peephole, but, in its place, found a small white orb. He tried looking through it, but it was opaque. On a hunch, he channeled some mana into it, and his mind immediately flooded with the pictures of a determined group of goblins banging on his door with their little fists.
In front was the one Milo called "groupie" for sucking up to their old master so much. The large muscular one was by his side. The chief and the shaman stood behind the other goblins. Milo was getting the impression that the chief didn't want to express a strong opinion about him one way or the other until he saw which way his populace was leaning. And the shaman seemed to understand that his and Milo's fates were tied to an extent, but wasn't willing to stick his neck out for him.
"What do you want?" Milo asked through the door.
"We want the proof!"
"Yeah, you promised the proof!"
"We discussed it, and came to offer you an all-tomatum. Give us proof or get in the soup, that's our all-tomatum!" said the groupie.
"And we like soup!" confirmed the muscular one.
Alright, time to play the role. Milo desperately wished he wasn't so dismissive of the acting classes when he was in school.
Milo kicked open the door, causing goblins to jump back in surprise. He assumed an intimidating posture, staff proudly held aloft, cloak billowing in the wind. He concentrated, and activated the sound rune.
"Who dares to demand the proof of my dread powers?" his voice, amplified and modulated to be loud and deep, thundered through the clearing.
Most of the goblins cowered and started to tremble, except for the groupie, who stood proudly and said "It is I, Climon the Cloying, the master's favorite minion! I am here to reveal your deception, which dishonors my master!"
"And it is I, Olof the Elk-slayer," said the muscular one proudly. "I am here becaue I was promised soup."
"Be careful what you wish for," boomed Milo's voice menacingly. "Those who desire to witness true darkness shall be consumed by it!"
The cloud of darkness started radiating from Milo's staff, enveloping the goblins. After yesterday's incident, he knew he couldn't sustain the spell for too long or over a large radius, but luckily the goblins were small and stood close to him.
The goblins started to panic.
"What's going on, why can't I see?"
"Where's the sun?"
"Oh, the sun?" Milo said in his creepiest whisper, "I vanquished it. I banished it from the sky, and trapped it in my closet, because it was asking too many questions and challenging my authority too much."
"But how are we gonna see and hunt?"
"How will we know when to sleep?"
"What will we stare at to decide who's the strongest?"
"You should have asked these questions before you dared to wake me up and annoy me. Sun will be staying in my closet, until you change your behavior."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Necromancer."
"Yes, we're sorry, Dark Overlord. Please give us the sun back!"
Milo was already beginning to feel lightheadedness and the beads of sweat on his forehead, so he was happy that the goblins folded so quickly.
"I don't want to hear anything about me not being a real dark lord, you got it?"
"Yes."
"Yes, Dark Overlord."
"It could've just been a darkness spell, I've seen one of these before." squeaked Climon uncertainly. Milo heard the chorus of angry shushing, and then, "Yes, Dark Overlord," Climon gave up.
"Fine, here's your sun back," Milo said, releasing the spell. "Receive this great favor I bestowed upon you today as a peace offering at the beginning of my glorious reign."
The goblins clapped and cheered. "Our sun! Dark Overlord brought the sun back!"
That was when the chief finally decided to step in. "Greetings, Dark Overlord. Allow me to properly introduce myself, I am Plumpo the Pompous, and I am the leader of our noble tribe. It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you, our greatness has been much reduced in your absence. The lands of humans are more dangerous than they used to be, and our former allies in the jungle began hunting us, rather than hunting with us. We lost our territories and the status we used to enjoy. Many of us have been lost, or bitten, or sat on. Some of my followers have even taken to blaming me for such things, can you believe it? We need your great powers and infinite wisdom to help us find food, and shelter, and restore order in our tribe. And get back our swamplands, and heal our sick, and teach our children. And help us find our purpose, and improve our community, and, of course, some entertainment would be nice once in awhile. I mean, I don't want to ask for much, but would it kill you to host a festival or a joust?"
"Yeah, and teach us how to do a play!"
"And make us a new drum!"
"And get us some ale!"
"And help me find a girlfriend!"
"And let us get a dog! Ple-e-e-eease? Just a puppy!"
Milo sighed once the flood of requests began to peter out. "Fine. I will tell you this, my minons. You serve me well, and I shall offer you office hours where you can submit your requests."
"What? We don't want any hours, we've already got plenty of them!"
"I mean I will meet with you. Twice per week. One at a time! And I will share my wisdom and help you out with your problems once in awhile."
"Can't you just fix everything now? Do the whole thing?"
"Office hours. Twice per week. That's the deal."
The goblins whispered between each other, then Plumpo stepped forward. "The tribe of Tooth and Claw solemnly accepts your deal, and offers our loyalty in return!"
"So be it," nodded Milo, turned around, went back into the tower, and shut the door behind him.
"Some minions. I think they will be more trouble than they're worth," he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead.
But hey, he did just earn himself another day of not getting eaten, not to mention a tribe of questionably loyal goblins. This was a victory and he was going to enjoy it.
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